Round 2 / Meet Polar Baby

I held by breath again and found myself gasping for air as this tiny little blob we've affectionately named Polar Baby sat as a motionless dark circle on the oversized monitor screen above my head. The nice overly grinning and enthusiastic Asian male embryologist bouncingly assured us that this Lil Embryo was “perfect and looked great” trying to make my heart relax as all I could think about was “Yeah … you said that exact same thing to me last time … so …”

Although once again my bladder screamed otherwise I admit the actual transfer was 100% easier this time. Much less painful, quicker, smoother, and much less stressful. We only had Polar Baby as our choice whereas the last time we were selecting from a Petri dish of Lil friends and facing the doctors recommendations for a double transfer which really threw us for a loop and had our hearts racing and praying for God's wisdom in the 5 seconds we had to make a decision—one that could change EVERYTHING.

 This time while the stakes are higher for Polar Baby to survive being the last chance this round and only embryo left—but somehow despite that, this transfer was much, much easier. The embryologist also showed us the pictures and shared that Polar Baby had already "hatched" and that was a sign of eager and anxious growth. Polar Baby wants to grow? That is a great sign. We left SRM with our hearts full and brimming with a glimmer of what we are calling intentional hoping. Because we are not feeling like hoping … or dreaming … or even breathing ……………………………… yet. And now we wait. Again. 

Intentionally, Purposefully Dreaming by being thankful for today as that might be all we have. We are choosing to trust and be thankful for Polar Baby and that it is with us for the now.

First Beta test is Friday 8/9/13. Please pray for calm hearts, a peace that surpasses all understanding, and for His will to be done. To HIM be the glory.