I have reached an emotional crescendo like the summit of a mountain, and I am sitting here, taking it all in and feel completely inept at putting it into words. The loss is too great. I sit here at a blank screen amid a quiet house, alone, trying to gather some worthy collection of words to express as much a wrung out heart my worn out body can muster and all I have are tears.
IVF Round#1 failed. We are devastated once again. Life has just been a series of punches and blows. It has been incredibly difficult and now with this news I am tired, sad, and a mess of hot tears. I left work early today after The Call and am going to spend some time wrestling and processing......and just be...
For those who wanted the specifics of my tests:
Beta #1 hCG level was 29. At this point it was supposed to be over 50.
Beta #2 hCG was down to a 5. That was our answer. Baby did not make it.
I choose to say I trust you Lord...because I know you are good...but Lord, I just don't understand this.
IVF Round#1 failed. We are devastated once again. Life has just been a series of punches and blows. It has been incredibly difficult and now with this news I am tired, sad, and a mess of hot tears. I left work early today after The Call and am going to spend some time wrestling and processing......and just be...
For those who wanted the specifics of my tests:
Beta #1 hCG level was 29. At this point it was supposed to be over 50.
Beta #2 hCG was down to a 5. That was our answer. Baby did not make it.
I choose to say I trust you Lord...because I know you are good...but Lord, I just don't understand this.
